Welcome back,
Today is a sad day in the lounge because my main man is moving out of the house. He’s off to join the real world. A world filled with responsibility, work, taxes, bills, and all that other stuff.
You know how there are some people who are just better than you at absolutely everything? It’s the most frustrating thing because no matter how hard you try, you can’t beat them. You can never get ahead. Whether it’s an Iron Chef cook-off, a drag race (my pick-up vs. his Mitzubishi Galant), or even an epic battle in Mortal Kombat; you just can’t win.
Well, sadly, I’m this person to Jared Jackson. Poor Jared can’t seem to beat me in anything. I’m always a step ahead. No matter how hard he tries, the only time he wins is when I let him.
Despite the lack of serious competition, Jared has had a significant influence over the years. If it weren’t for him, I never would have seen such cinematic gems as Repo Men, Human Centipede, and Jennifer’s Body (I’m pretty sure all of these movies were nominated at some point for the worst movie of the year award).
In all seriousness though, I would like to wish my friend the best of luck in all of his future endeavors. It’s been a great run.
As Jared once said, “Best Player Down.”
-Zach




